October 29th, 2010

Cordy Does Not Approve

AtS Rewatch

Yesterday I was talking about being in a Buffyverse fandom funk.  So what do I do today?  I spend a couple hours reading 30 Days of Angel meta on anythingbutgrey's journal from back in the summer.  Yeah.  It made me realize I'm not in a Buffyverse fandom funk, but specifically a BtVS fandom funk.  So I'm going to be jumping on the AtS rewatch starting this Monday.

I'm looking forward to it.  Because I've actually always loved AtS but never really engaged in discussing it all that much.  My experience with fandom has always been Buffy-centric.  Just that's who I gravitated towards because hello, favorite character, but it's also where there's more active discussion.

A truth I don't talk about much: Angel is my favorite character on AtS.  Seriously.  Is that weird?  I'm a Spike/Buffy fan and I just love him on that show.  He's why I watch.

So I'm looking forward to diving into this and really enjoying his story.  Also, I love Lilah and I want to really pay closer attention to her journey.  Plus, Wes.  I love Wes.  And I even like Fred (she doesn't annoy me the way everyone else is annoyed by her).  And Gunn.  Oh Gunn.

But here's my challenge.  I want to love Cordy.  I... don't.  I sympathize with her at times.  I find her funny.  I can even find her brave.  I can even think she's wonderful and admire her fortitude.  I also think she's quite simply the most gorgeous human being ever.  But I don't love her.  So what?  Lots of fans don't love characters.  My problem with Cordy is that intellectually I can see why she's fabulous and why others love her so much.  Emotionally, it's just not there for me.  And I'm pondering why that is.  Why intellectually I appreciate her, but I don't fully embrace her.

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ETA: OMG when I first tried posting this the post disappeared and I thought OMFG NOOOOO all of it is gone.

Adding A Note:  Apparently some misconceptions abound.  I didn't write this as meta.  This is stream-of-consciousness writing about fandom funk, appreciating AtS and doing a rewatch to get back the love, then realizing a challenge I've been meaning to explore: re-examining Cordy's character.  A large portion of this post is about the negative aspects of Cordy's character I have problems with.  I'm not arguing that these negative aspects are the sum of her character or that she's a bad person overall.  I'm focusing specifically on them because these are what challenge me and keep me from fully embracing her.