Emmie (angearia) wrote,

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Hi, remember me?

Hello!  So I feel like I've been very, very, very quiet lately, but I'm still around even though I've barely posted anything in a week.  I also haven't been commenting as much as usual, but I've still been reading people's posts.  So what have I been up to?


Well, I've become musically obsessed with two songs: 

+ Mumford and Sons "Blank White Page" (presented to you with a pretty Guy/Marian vid I snagged from dollsome)

+  "The Meadow" by Alexandre Desplat (yes, it's from the New Moon soundtrack, I KNOW, I DON'T CARE, IT'S PRETTY).

Now when I say musically obsessed I mean that I can listen to these songs on repeat as I write, that they hit my imagination's sweet spot. I love that--I love when music gives me chills and sets my mind racing. This might be my favorite part of writing. It's just pure imagination. It's pretty much the only time I get to experience the story as a viewer, to immerse myself just for the pleasure of it. Actually writing the story is more laborious. Sure, I describe my style as method writing--I slip inside the character's POV and try to channel their emotions, their vision. I visualize the world through the character's eyes--someone once described that my stories felt like a camera was perched on the POV character's shoulder. Cinematic, right. That method writing is like combining the joy of imagining and embodying the story (which is so immersive that it feels like borderline madness--I might do a post someday about how I view writing as an outlet for "madness" but it'd have to be on my personal filter) with the challenge of translating that story into words. Taking an idea and giving it breath so that it can live outside your mind's eye, recreating that image truly so that others hopefully see it, feel it, live it as you have--of course, telling the story you intend collides with the reader's perception and reshapes the story, but that's a good thing, that's how you know it's alive.

Speaking of living stories, I was watching television with my family and at the end of a Grey's Anatomy episode which my cousin wanted to watch (I've largely given up on this show), I started talking about Cristina's characterization and trying to make sense of it and my aunt and my cousin's boyfriend chimed in to say, "Emily, you do realize these characters aren't real?" Cue snickering. I WANTED TO STAB THINGS. I replied, "Yes, but it's called consistent characterization and literary analysis. THANKS FOR BEING DOUCHES."


I've been spending a lot of time with my cousin, Sarah, who's really more like a sister, and among our excursions around town, we ended up at a used bookstore where I bought a bunch of classic novels. I started rereading Wuthering Heights thinking that I wanted to revisit this story again (since I've matured so much since I read it as a teenager) and... I'm having the strangest reactions to this story. My sympathy for Heathcliff in the first half of the book is largely because I'm reading him as a gypsy who's beaten and abused and described by Nelly Dean as a villainous evil heathen and I can't help but wonder if he becomes that way because everyone sees him that way as a child. I'm not interested in romanticizing him. I'm looking at this from a place of abuse, race, white privilege and oppression. 

If I do a post about Wuthering Heights later on, will there be anyone who wants to discuss it? Come on, y'all.
Tags: music i love long time, personal post, writing
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